Confessions of a Quitter

In the midst of all things craziness and COVID, came the realization that I wasn't where I needed to be in terms of employment. A still small voice, who for me is always the Holy Spirit, (a faith filled, Jiminy Cricket if you will) whispered, "Pack your bag, Mary Poppins, you're headed in a new direction." Although the thought was frightening because I didn't have any looming prospects, it was crystal clear. Quit. Be done.

After an extended conversation with my ever so patient spouse, and for the first time ever in my entire life, I quit a job and had nothing else lined up. Let me be the first to say how fortunate our family was to be in a financial position that allowed me to do that. So many have so few choices. Because I worked for a church and Christmas was just around the corner, I gave a thirty day notice, finished out the year and then waited.

I sat with myself awhile and pondered and prayed and pondered some more. Here's what I knew about my next place of employment:

• I needed to work with the general public and all of the hoopla that comes from dealing with strangers, and regulars and everyone in between, whose stories are sometimes so strange you can't even make them up. I seem to thrive in unexpected chaos!

• I wanted to be immersed in diversity. My world had become way too small for someone who wanted to stretch her faith.

• If possible, I wanted to be in a position where I could see tangible results of my efforts; where the service I provided would help someone take the next step.

Too make a long story short, I applied for a job at a city library. If you know me, you'll find it funny that someone voted most talkative in high school and often reminded by her mother to lower her voice at the bus stop would work in such a quiet environment. A month or two passed before I heard anything, which made me think I wasn't suited for a library. Then, unexpectedly, I received a call for an interview at the Maplewood Library. I had no idea where it was, so I checked their Facebook page and read the description: A vibrant library. I laughed out loud! God has such a sense of humor! What library describes itself as vibrant and full of energy? We were a perfect match! My first day was Monday, August 1, 2022.

The very first patron I helped asked for assistance with the copier. I could see she was weary and stressed. She explained that the coroner's office had spelled her son's name wrong on the death certificate so the insurance company would not pay out on his life insurance policy. My heart sank and I expressed my condolences. As I put the first paper on the glass, I noticed that the location of death was a parking lot. All the stories I saw and heard on the news became so real in the face of this mother trying to bury her son by showing evidence of his life. After I grabbed a folder for her documents, she handed me her laundry money in a baggy and asked me to take out whatever the charge was. I explained there was no charge and she hugged me. "That's payment enough," I said, secretly hoping I wouldn't be fired on my first day for not charging for copies. I wasn't.

This story is one of many that have humbled me and reassured me that I am doing exactly what I need to be doing, where I need to be doing it.

• I high five all the patrons who say they don't understand technology and then successfully email our account through their phones.

• I constantly remind patrons that the words are in them for their resumes, I just help bring them out.

• I have a fax dance for when the fax actually goes through to the NYS department of labor. One patron looked at me and said, "You crazy!" I said, "That's exactly why I am here."

Fair warning, dear reader, I will be sharing many more library lessons because what I see on every shift further reinforces my belief that:

• mercy triumphs over judgement

• most people have good intentions

• in the eyes of God we are created equal; in reality some are dealt a much better hand than others.

Today's city libraries are life lines. We're the internet, we're the children's programming, the resume builders, the Indeed account creators and so much more. My paycheck is peanuts as a part time clerk; what I take home from each encounter is a wealth all its own.

Quitting a job without having another lined up is absolutely off the hook scary. However, if you are in a position where it might be a possibility, I can tell you first hand that the leap of faith is worth it. You'll need the time to sit with yourself and then one day you'll know the next step. As I tell myself and my children, " what's for you, will not pass you."

As we make our first footprints on 2025, I pray for peace and strength and courage as you take your next steps.

And for those of you that are meeting me here-- a coffee talk question--to comment below-- Have you ever quit a job with nothing lined up?